Hmm .. i really wanted to blog about this for a long time. Anyway here goes, since i have had an opportunity to live in america for a while i always compare and contrast living in america and in india. One of the things i really missed when i was away are being with my family. I don't know how to put it.... whenever i spend time with my family it feels great and may be its because i don't think about myself a lot when i am with them. But also one of the reasons i liked living in america was i had plenty of space to sit and contemplate, it's almost a feeling of discovering ones self. When all the noises and voices around you are silent you kinda figure out slowly but surely what you are really like and what you are not, i personally feel nothing teaches you more than your own company. After moving back i often wonder how many indians really get this space.
I mean lets face it India is a country of a billion people, Just to make a decent living you need to be extremely hardworking and diligent and thats just for starters. So if you have to do anything to standout you would need to be that much more industrious, so i often think the concepts of likes, dislikes, passion and interest gets lost to full fill the basics of our human needs to get food clothing and shelter regularly. Often i wonder is it because of this the family system is so much important in india. I mean thats the only easy and direct way of having something to look forward to and keep you occupied in the rat race around you. So the question then becomes would we have a such boasted family system if all our basic needs gets satisfied easily outside of it?.
Also i find people live and die by other's opinions in india. With so of them all around you everybody is ready to share their piece of advice on anything, and most of us including me are affected by what we hear and see around us. Often wonder if most of us just lead a second hand life so that we can appear to be somebody in front of the crowd. The question i have repeatedly is would everybody do what they do today if no one was around them to influence. As i see people at my work , family and friends everybody wants to be somebody, probably more so in india than other countries. Creating this idea of being some one seems to be much more important than living itself. I would think most of them would die rather than to lose their identities they have built about themselves. So if you are india with so many of them around how many different lives would you live? how many of them would you satisfy ? what happens to your own inner voice that gets drowned in all the commotion ? as life itself is a huge paradox ... are the most important things we cherish in our lives.. are they really boons or banes ??????
3 comments:
Dear Pappu,
It is a nice reflection of your observations / feelings!
Boon or Bane is much depending on as how you see it. Your brought up, education, values, needs & environment make you have many perceptions on every aspect of your life. If you simply go by your perceptions, you may not be comfortable or progressive, many a times.
Hence, you need to rationalize every perception and if you go by the facts / realities, then you can be a resource to others and lead respectable life. Again, if you start rationalize everything, your life will be a hell even.
In everything, there are good & bad aspects. Nothing is totally good or totally bad on this earth. What is good to you today, may not be good to you tomorrow! What is good to you now, may not be good to others! It is all in ones perception.
To be happy & progressive, we need to balance all. Instead of thinking too much on any issue or aspect, better listen to others, of course your well wishers. We may not know everything and if we want to understand everything and follow, our life time will go in that unnecessary exploration.
People have already experimented everything and passed on their experiences as values, theories etc. So, just believe certain things and go. As you say, you can not satisfy all people all times. So, agree to disagree too and get going.
When you were in USA, you would have appreciated that life for some aspects and frustrated for some aspects. Same is true when you are in India. It is life! You will have both good & bad and you need to learn to live in this reality.
You must be concerned about your happy / peaceful life and with progress in all aspects of your life. Every one must consider all their aspects of life and must balance them and that is a fruitful / successful life.
Yes, one must perform well in his or her personal, family, professional & social aspects of life. Skewed life may not be good for oneself and for all people concerned with him/her.
To conclude, try to understand your self adequately - understand others, particularly your reference groups - Understand as how others have understood you. This personality dynamics can help you lead your life with happiness to you and to others around you.
ACHIEVEMORE
Loving Chitthappa.
Thanks for the reply chithappa,
As always a very quick and detailed reply . I do agree for most of the points you have raised. I agree one has to balance everything , but i think its this very balancing that creates an imbalance.
Also one has to understand oneself but isn't everybody in a state of flux all the time. The day one says i have understood myself i think he becomes a vegetable so that never ends too .
Anyway as always appreciate a great feedback!
Thats a wonderful observation anna. Actually it dawned to me too within a few months of living alone that how much of my life has passed listening to everyone, good and bad. Getting time to oneself and listen to your inner voices takes a lot of effort in India. I speculate if the reason behind 'sanyasam' in early India was because of this. I do not know of any other cultures that had as many yogis as India!
The importance of being alone and desire to understand oneself dawned to early indians only in their late lives with a few exceptions. One good thing about modern India is that many students unknowingly practice this 'sanyasam' in the form of foreign education ;) Perspective of life changes and with the whole life to live ahead, its more meaningful.
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